God never condemns. If you hear thoughts in your head that sound like this you are either hearing the enemy or your own flesh:

• You are a loser
• You area a failure
• You are week
• You are pathetic
• You are hopeless
• You are not good at anything
• You are good for nothing
• You are a sinner
• You are ugly
• You are stupid
• You are dirty and guilty
• No one could ever love you

When you find one of these thoughts enter your mind (and it happens to all of us), you must combat it with the truth.  The following is intended to be a resource for you to help battle against these thoughts.  I hope that if you feel any of these things you will look up these verses and quote them out loud.  Choose to believe the truth and not the lie.  You must do this repeatedly until the lie fades and it is totally replaced by the truth.  This may mean you need to memorize these verses and recite them 50 times a day for a while.

1. I am ugly (Ps 139:14, Eph 2:10 )
2. I am a loser (Phil 4:13, 1 Cor 15:57
3. I am a failure (1 John 5:4, Rom 8:37)
4. I am stupid (1 Cor 2:6-10, Col 3:16, Jam 1:5)
5. I am dirty and guilty (Eph 1:6-8, Rom 5:1, Rom 8:1-2)
6. I am a sinner (Rom 6:1-6, 2 Cor 5:17, Eph 1:1, 5, 1 Cor 1:2, Phil 1:1)
7. No one could ever love me (Rom 5:7-8, Rom 8:35-39, Col 3:12, 1 Jn 3:1)
8. I am alone (Jn 15:15, Eph 2:13, 2 Cor 5:18, Deut 31:6, Matt 28:20)
9. I am unforgiven (Rom 5:1, Eph 1:6-8, Ps 103:12, Is 1:18)
10. God doesn’t love me (Ps 103:11, Rom 8:17; Gal 4:7, Eph 1:4-5, Rom 5:8, Jn 3:16, 17:23, 1 Jn 3:1, Jer 31:3, 32:40)
11. I am not good enough at anything. Others are way better and everything than I am (Eph 3:20, Phil 4:13, Rom 8:26, 1 Cor 1:27-31, 2 Cor 12:9-10, 1 Cor 12:7-27)
12. No one would choose me (Col 3:12, 1 Pet 1:1-3, Eph 1:4-5, Act 17:26)
13. I am boring or uninteresting (Mt 5:13-14, Mk 16:17-20)
14. I lack something I need to be a better Christian (Col 2:10, 2 Cor 5:17, 1 Cor 2:12, Eph 1:3)
15. I am who I was in the past (2 Cor 5:17, Rom 6:1-6, Gal 2:20, Eph 2:5, 1 Jn 4:7)
16. I am bound and held captive by any sin in my life (Rom 6:7, 18, 8:2, 2 Cor 3:17, Gal 5:1, Rom 8:37)
17. I have no authority to do anything about evil in my life (Mk 6:7-13, Matt 10:1, Lk 9:1, 10:17, 19, 1 Cor 6:2-3, Jn 14:12)
18. I can’t be who God wants me to be so I should just give up (1 Tim 4:15, Matt 11:28-30, Gal 5)

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Rom 12:2, emphasis added

“We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.  We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” 2 Cor 10:3-5 (NLT, emphasis added)

I have been thinking about this all week, and I feel he is correct.  If we truly viewed our lives everyday through the lens of what we deserve vs. what God has given us, every difficulty we face would shrink in significance compared to the astonishing, scandalous love He has recklessly poured out on us.

There are two sides to meditate on in order to get a better idea of how vast this grace actually is: one is our total depravity and the other is God’s amazing and unbelievable love, forgiveness, and acceptance of us.  The further apart you can push these two things in your own mind, the better you will understand this concept of grace.  The more you understand grace the less you will struggle with the day-to-day difficulties and hardships, the more you will honestly desire to love other people, and the more you will look like Jesus to this world.

However, this requires great humility. It requires you to face the reality of who you really are and what you really deserve.  The more you understand your own depravity and become fully aware of what you deserve in this minute, the greater God’s grace will grow in your eyes.  The more you cling to your own pride, self-esteem, and worth, the less you will grasp grace and the more you will find yourself struggling with living the life Christ has called you to.

1.) Total Depravity

As I mentioned above, in order to expound our understanding of grace we need a deeper understanding of our own sinfulness.  This is never fun.  In fact it is humiliating and painful.  But, oh it is necessary.  This is also not a message that you hear anywhere.  This culture doesn’t believe it and even churches don’t teach it.  So I’m going to shatter a few cultural myths that we all believe (at least to some degree).

Self-esteem is a cult.  I know that isn’t what you are told to believe.  You are told that you need to have a high view of your own worth, and that is healthy.  No.  It is VERY unhealthy.  What you need is a high view of God’s worth and that His worth is given to you even though you don’t deserve it.  Self-esteem is nothing other than pride.  The bible says that Pride is evil.  In his book “Mere Christianity” C.S. Lewis wrote:

“The essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.”

Nowhere in scripture will you see a positive view of your own self-worth encouraged.  Quite the opposite.

“He leads the humble in justice, And He teaches the humble His way” ~ Psalm 25:9 (see also Psalm 10:4; 18:12; and 94:2).

“Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; Assuredly, he will not be unpunished ~Proverbs 16:5 (see also Proverbs 8:13; 11:2; 16:18-19; 18:12; and 21:4, 24)

I know this is a tough thought.  It’s tough for me too.   I have been wrestling with this for some time but I am starting to understand.  I need to get over myself.  I need to let it sink in and go down to my core.  I am not a good person.  I am not a valuable asset to God’s team.  I do not deserve to be treated well.  I am worthless.  That’s right I said it.  I’m worthless.  Apart from God, I have no worth.

Why would I say that?  What does the word of God say about all of us in Romans 3:

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.  Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know.  There is no fear of God before their eyes.” ~ Rom 3: 11-18 (emphasis added)

People will say, but we have worth because we are created in God’s image.  Yes, the fact that we are created in the image of God gives us as humans elevated worth over other creatures, and even angels.  However, even that “worth” doesn’t come from us, but from God.  We are only worth anything because we reflect His worth, His glory.  God is not obligated to treat us any differently because he made us to reflect His glory.  In and of myself, I have no worth.  I have nothing good to bring.  There is nothing good that is left unspoiled in me as a human.

Every part of us has been tainted and spoiled by sin.  This is what the Levitical law was intended to show is.  We are like the article of clothing that is infected with a spreading mildew and must be burned because the whole garment is contaminated (Lev 13:47-59).  In the Bible, sin is frequently compared to a minuscule amount of yeast that permeates all of the dough (Matt 16:6, Mark 8:15, Luk 12:1).  This is what is meant by total depravity.  It isn’t that I am so bad that I couldn’t be any worse.  That would be “utter depravity”.  It is that we have all sinned and that sin has infected every part of our being.  There isn’t any part of us that isn’t tainted by it.  That is why nothing we do is ever good or unselfish.  We are all totally depraved.

It is only by understanding that I have no merit on my own that I can begin to base my merit on that which will hold up, that which will stand when I fail, when I am ridiculed, when I am laughed at, when I am  slandered.  It is only the humble Christian that can truly find joy and peace in who they are because they know that they are nothing and that Christ is everything.  After that realization, there is nothing anyone can say that can hurt you.  You pride is in your father’s love for you and not in your own worth.  This is what I call Christ-esteem, and it is infinitely better than self-esteem.

It is our own elevated view our worth that causes us to cringe when we read the Old Testament.  Why is God seem so cruel and harsh?  How can He sanction the murder of so many people, even women and children?  How can He have the nation of Israel stone a man to death who used the Lord’s name in vain?  To us these seem over the top, unmerited, and even cruel.  That is because we have the false belief that these people deserve better.  We believe that we are owed forgiveness from God.  Oh how wrong we are.  We need to realize that not even the fallen angles are offered forgiveness.  There is absolutely nothing that compels God to forgive me.  He owes me exactly nothing, except eternal punishment.  Why, because I deserve it.

The amazing American pastor and theologian, Jonathan Edwards, articulates this better than I ever could in his famous sermon, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”:

“The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours. You have offended him infinitely more than ever a stubborn rebel did his prince; and yet it is nothing but his hand that holds you from falling into the fire every moment. It is to be ascribed to nothing else, that you did not go to hell the last night; that you was suffered to awake again in this world, after you closed your eyes to sleep. And there is no other reason to be given, why you have not dropped into hell since you arose in the morning, but that God’s hand has held you up.”

When you begin to see yourself as God see you (apart from Jesus) you will be on your way to seeing grace as far more than you ever have before.  It is only when you begin to understand that this morning, instead of waking up in the fires of hell, which you justly deserve, you have the amazing blessing of going out and living as a slave to your merciful Lord today.  You will be able to rejoice in hardships and trails because, no matter how bad it is, it doesn’t even come close to what you deserve.  This is why Paul is able to express joy in 2 Corinthians 6:

“Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” ~ 2 Cor 6:4-10

2.) The Love and Mercy of God

It is unbelievable to realize that we have been pardoned from the just punishment that we deserve.  If that were the end of the story we would have more than enough reason to praise God and give our lives over to Him for His service.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Not even close.  He has done so much more than just pardon us.  He has shown such unbelievable love for us.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” ~ 2 Cor 5:21

Jesus, perfect and sinless, had never known the pain, guilt, regret, and shame of sin.  We have all felt it.  He volunteered to go to the cross, the bible says “scorning its shame” (Heb 12:2).  All of that guilt and shame was placed on Him.  He felt it all.  The weight of trillions of people’s countless sins all on Him at one moment.  The thought is just too staggering for me.  Why did he do this? “that we might become the righteousness of God”.  Oh, that you could see how God sees you if you believe in Jesus.  He doesn’t see a sinner.  You are a saint.  The very righteousness of Jesus is transferred over to you.  You have become HIS righteousness!

When God looks down upon you, saint, he not only sees someone who He has pardoned, but He sees one who has the very righteousness of Jesus.  He sees you on the same level as Jesus Christ.  You can approach Him as His child!  You are blameless in His sight!  This is truly the “Good news”.

You are adopted.  You have become a child of God.  You can never do anything to make Him love you any more or any less.  You are not on a merit/demerit basis with Him.  You know this full well because you understand that you have no merit except that which you have been given from Him.  You did NOTHING to earn this.  Even your faith in him is a gift from God.

God will never stop loving you.  He has no more wrath for you.  It has all been paid for by Jesus.  But oh what a high price it came at.  It cost Jesus so much.

Doesn’t that motivate you to want to love Him?  Doesn’t that cause you to long to serve a God who would love you enough to pay your gruesome dept?  If it doesn’t then you still don’t understand it.  This makes me want to spend every minute of the rest of my life serving Him.  I thank God for the unbelievable honor of being a slave to Him.  This is how Paul felt.

“For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.” ~ 1 Cor 15:9-11

Paul understood grace.  God’s grace towards him was not in vain because Paul was so moved by it that he devoted his life telling everyone about it.

Are you that moved by God’s grace toward you?  Are you willing to lower your pride and accept who you are and what you really deserve?  Can you fully grasp or understand the cost of your freedom?  Can you wrap you head around the depth of love it took for the God of the universe to humble Himself and become a pooping, crying, infant child, born to a poverty-stricken, nothing family in nowhere-ville, placed in a feeding trough for animals, all for you? Can you really stand thinking about the Almighty God of all creation enduring torture, mocking, insults, and hate?  What about when you think of the Alpha and Omega, hanging on a tree being laughed at and cursed at, while He pleads for His Father to have mercy on those cursing Him and to forgive them?  Can you continue to go your own way if you understood that He said His very last words, “it is finished”. . . your forgiveness is finished . . . while they shoved a feces and vinegar stained cloth into his mouth.   Do you realize that it is your filth that was in His mouth?  It is your shame He was wearing.  That was your cross . . . and you deserved it.

Scandalous, scandalous love!  Who could ever believe such love?!  This is why the cross is foolishness to the world.  But, to us who have been gifted understanding, it is a wondrous, hideously beautiful thing.

Oh God forgive me for thinking that I am owed anything today except to be placed on my cross and to suffer forever.  There are never enough words to thank you for saving me, cleansing me, and redeeming me.  You can have today.  My life is yours now.  Use it and spend it however you please.  I will pick up my cross and follow you.  What joy and peace there is in living in your grace.  I know that nothing comes to me except that which you allow for my benefit.  May I praise you today for everything that you bring.

Intro:
1. Prov 25:2, Is 55:8-9 – These are tough things to comprehend but we need to delve into them

REGENERATION

1. Read John 16:5-11 – What is the Holy Spirit doing in the world?
   1. Convicts of Sin
      1. Who can describe how this happened in their life?
      2. What is our role in conviction? (show them the scripture)
      3. We let the Spirit convict
      4. If not it becomes about their horizontal relationship with us and not their vertical relationship with God
   2. Shows righteousness of Jesus in contrast with our righteousness
      1. Is 64:6
   3. Speaks about the coming judgment (warns of pending doom)
2. What does “regeneration” mean? – idea of being born again
3. Read John 3:3-8
   1. What is meant by being born of water and spirit?
   2. What is Jesus talking about when he talks about the wind blowing where it wishes?
   3. Who is responsible for you “deciding” to trust Christ?
   4. Eph 2:1-18 – To whom does v5 assign the action of our generation?
   5. What clarification does v8 make on our faith in God?
   6. 2 Pet 1:3-4 – Who called?
   7. John 6:44 – No man can come without the father drawing him
   8. Rom 2:29 – circumcision of heart by spirit
   9. John 1:10-13 – not of human decision
4. Read Rom 8:1-17
   1. What does v5 say has happened to our minds?
   2. This is the first thing that happens with regeneration – think differently.
   3. What does 1 Cor 2:16 mean?
   4. Do you need a list of rules to be a Christian? Why?
   5. Our desires change. (v9)
   6. Are all of us going to be the same in the things we feel are good for us to do or not do? (Rom 14)
   7. What do we need to ask ourselves about the things we do?
      1. How is this glorifying Jesus (every single action of our lives) (1 Cor 10:31)
      2. Are my desires changing? Is there progress? (1 Tim 4:15)
   8. In regeneration, what changes in regard to who we desire to please? (yourself changes to God)
      1. Do you find yourself wanting to draw near to God for what He will give you or do for you?
      2. Do you think that is a popular message today?
      3. Do you increasingly see in your life a desire to sacrifice and give up things for other or so that God will be glorified?
   9. If these are not your desires what does v9 say about you?
   10. What are most of your prayers for, yourself or for God’s will to be done and other people?
5. If the Holy Spirit is the one who regenerates, what role do we have it the process?
   1. Only God can birth this in us
   2. We can assist God in the process
   3. What is an assist in basketball?
   4. John 15:26-27 – you must also testify
   5. Rom 10:9 – must confess with mouth
   6. God works through us – only 1% of Christian share gospel.
   7. Why? – We fear man more than we fear God
   8. Results aren’t up to you, remember God regenerates
      1. Exponentially multiply effect by prayer (Jam 5)
      2. Pray, share, pray!
      3. Pray earnestly, fast, pray more

We also watched this short video of Paul Washer talking about regeneration.  I think he does a great job of giving us a mental piucture of what it is. . .

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Over the past couple months this has been brought to my attention in more ways than one from many of my brothers in Christ and I just want to share my take on it and what knowledge I’ve gained from it all.  My past is full of mistakes and misfortunes.  Many bad choices that I wish I could change, however, if I could go back and change my decisions that would most likely alter who I am today.  Truth of the matter is…there are many things that I wish I could rip out of my life, my head, and my past in general.  Why?  Well as dumb as this may sound, my past continuously reminds me of the “junk” I have done and the progression of my life doesn’t ease the pain.  I would feel confident in saying that most of or just about all of those bad choices came from lack of being a true and strong man of God.

If you think about it and just aren’t quite sure how to answer the question “what does a man of God look like”, I would like to help so that anyone reading this might get help from it.

First and foremost, are you following the two greatest commandments that Christ gave us?  “Love the Lord with all your heart, your sole and your mind.  And love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37)  Following those two commandments is a good step in the right direction and probably one of the most important steps.  Most men around me have a pretty good idea of what a leader is but what does it mean to lead in a relationship?  I would like to chime in on what it takes to lead your wife, but I’m not married therefore I don’t have the ability to really comment on that.  I have learned that one; to me at least, very important aspect in leading in a relationship is not just looking to the bible but to your brothers for advice.  Other men who know you well, what do they think?  Do they see things in your life that need to change?  Are you willing to be criticized or be teachable from others?  This is something I am truly still trying to learn because I like many have a stubborn side that is hard to break sometimes.  Here is a BIG one for most anyone.  Have a mentor in your life.  This is not a question, I may not have the authority to just tell you to but I HIGHLY recommend having one because it will make more difference in your life than you realize.    Making the right decision or doing the right thing in a situation even if it is the hard thing to do.  Again this is still something I am trying to figure out.  Remember, these are all things I have learned from the past few months, so of course I still have a ways to go.  Making sure that your relationship is completely Christ driven and surrounded around.

If I knew years ago what I know now….my life and how I view things would be quite different.  Before I was defensive toward many subjects and will admit still am.  But everything takes time and growth.  No one will ever be perfect of course, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  I hope this helps someone out there who is wondering.  I still have a lot to learn but in the last couple months…this stuff has really stuck to me.

This Post was written by our very own Bobby Roskelley

http://iamsecond.org/#/seconds/Brian_Welch/

1. What is the Law and why were we bound to it?
2. Why are we released from the Law? – To what end? (V4)
3. What is the fruit talked about in Vs 4 and 5?
   1. Gal 5:22-23
   2. Eph 5:9
4. Why is fruit such a big deal? (1 Cor 9:25)
5. Who is it that produces this fruit in your life?
6. What about the fruit of producing believers in Jesus?
   1. Luke 10:2 (harvest of souls)
7. Are you seeing the people around you come to know Jesus? If not, why?
   1. Is this fruit visible to all in your life?
   2. Are you sharing the gospel?
      1. Hear and understand (Col 1:6)
      2. Do you understand and are you sharing the message of Jesus’ wonderful Grace?
8. Who can you get the fruits of the spirit in your life?
   1. John 15:1-17 (abide in me)
   2. What does abide mean? (remain in, rest)
   3. How do you remain in or rest in Jesus?
      1. His words (V7)
      2. His love (V9, 12)
      3. Obedience (V10, 14)
         1. Information + obedience  = transformation
      4. Joy (V11)
   4. Fellowship with God and other Christians
9. There are 2 enemies of abiding in Jesus, business and laziness.  Which one do you struggle with most?
   1. Plate – How much can you can handle?
   2. Priorities – What are yours? Write them down.
   3. Pruning – What do you need to decrease in your life?
10. Which type of soil are you right now? (Matt 13:1-9, 18-23)
    1. Concrete – seed of gospel has no effect
    2. Shallow soil – shoot up quickly and then fall away
    3. Weedy – Gospel takes root but concerns, hardships, and distractions of the world choke out growth.
    4. Good soil – bear much fruit and many come to know Jesus by your testimony
11. What actions do you need to take to become the 4^th type of soil, good soil?

Integrity—The Hallmark of a Man

“Our mission is to live for the glory of Jesus every moment of every day no matter the cost or consequence”

Integrity with All Relationships

• Be proactive, not passive. This one is at the heart of everything on this page.  A man doesn’t sit back and wait for others to do what they should.  He acts first and others follow.  This means YOU seek reconciliation in relationships first.  YOU ask questions when you don’t understand.  YOU step up and help when others aren’t. (Prov 4:7, 6:6, 13:4, 18:15, Jer 32:39, Jam 2:7)
• Seek mentorship. It doesn’t matter what you believe, you NEED mentorship.  Manhood is not self taught, it is passed on.  Find a man (or group of men) that are willing to meet with you one-on-one and help you grow in the areas you are week in.  You will have to be willing to be corrected. You have to take the initiative to get this.  Don’t wait for the men to come to you!  (Ps 141:5, Prov 4:10-11, 13:10, 15:22, 17:10, 18:15, 1 Tim 2:1-2, 4:11, Tit 2:6-8,15)
• Seek accountability. We can’t go it alone.  We need brothers to ask the tough questions and keep us honest.  If you know someone is going to ask you this week if you gave into that sin, it is more motivation to keep clear of it.  Again, the action here is in your camp.  You must seek this out from others. (Ecc 4:9-12, Gal 6:1-2, Col 3:16,  Prov 27:17)
• Seek community. If you are isolated and feeling alone you are being passive!  You have brothers who want to be here for you.  Take initiative and be in community.  It doesn’t matter if this is comfortable for you or not.  We are the body of Christ and we are to be unified.  Satan is a lion.  He seeks the week one, separated from the heard.  (Prov 18:1-2, 28:26, Eph 4:1-16, 1 Cor 12:25-27, Gal 6:1-2, 1 Pet 5:8)
• Be humble and teachable.  A real man is not a proud man.  Jesus lowered himself to be a servant. You should welcome criticism because it helps you grow.  A real man can handle it.  If you can’t be taught or react negatively when others point out where you need to grow, you must give up the stronghold of pride.  Seek out criticism.  Ask for it from others.  This will show everyone your heart to grow.  (Eph 4:2, Phil 2:5-11, Prov 11:2, 18:12, 29:23)
• Be confident and lead. Every man by definition is a leader.  God created you to have a specific ministry to your family, within the body of Christ, and out from the body.  Confidence is not the same as pride (if your confidence is based on the Holy Spirit’s work in your heart).  There is a deplorable lack of Godly men in the world today.  Therefore, you should be leading others in many aspects of your life.  Find where God wants you to minister and LEAD! If you lack needed training or discipleship, seek it out.  (John 21:15-17, Prov 18:15)
• Accept responsibility for all your actions and repent. Don’t make excuses.  When it’s your fault, admit it.  Have the attitude of President Truman, “The Buck Stops Here”.  This builds trust.  Don’t be like Adam and passively blame Eve.  (Gen 3:9-12, Ps 32, 2 Sam 12)

Integrity at Work

• Put in 40 hours of work for 40 hours of pay. You’re getting paid to do a job, not goof around. There are of course exceptions; you may be done with one project and have nothing to do until you get your next assignment. But if you’re supposed to be working on something, you shouldn’t be watching March Madness games. (Col 3:22-23)
• Don’t take credit for others’ success. Never take someone’s idea and pitch it as your own. And don’t jump on a wagon at the end of a successful ride that you didn’t contribute to. (Prov 27:2, 1 Tim 5:18)
• Be transparent. Make your deals as transparent as possible. Don’t leave out things that the other party is going to hate you for later when they figure out what they really signed. (Deut 25:15-17)
• Don’t steal supplies. Yeah, the corporation you work for doesn’t pay you enough. And yeah, no one is going to miss that box of paperclips. But it’s still stealing, buddy. (Deut 5:19, Eph 4:28, Tit 2:9-11, Matt 30:13-15)
• Avoid situations where you’ll have a conflict of interest. If you’re caught in something that prevents you from making completely honest decisions, get out. (Jam 3:17, Rom 2:11, 1 Tim 5:21)
• If your company pressures you to make unethical decisions, walk away. It’s not true every man has a price; a man of integrity prizes his character and glorifying God above monetary security. Is it possible to make it in your career field while having true integrity? Yes, but only if you’re the best at what you do. You’ll always need to be a cut above the guys who take shortcuts to get ahead. Remember, it’s not about this life!  (Prov 13:11, Matt 6:24, Col 3:1-2, Phil 3:7-11, 1 Pet 2:19-21, 3:13-17, 4:12-19)

Integrity in Your Romantic Relationships

• Be an open book. Don’t keep secrets from your significant other. Even if the secrets don’t affect her, if she finds out you’ve been keeping stuff from her, it will erode the trust between you. This doesn’t mean if you sinned sexually in previous relationships that you should tell her all the details.  You should be open about your sin, but protect her from as many details as you can. (Prov 12:22, 14:5)
• Make a covenant with your eyes (Job 31:1). Don’t buy the lie that it’s ok to look at women in lust as long as you don’t act on it.  All lust (other than for your wife) is sin. This includes pornography, eyeing women on the street, or even dwelling on risky commercials or revealing magazines.  This is the major hook Satan uses to keep you in bondage.  Break free!  (Matt 5:28)
• Keep boundaries and margin in your life. You don’t walk right up to a steep drop off.  No, the bank might give way and collapse.  Don’t do the same in your life.  Don’t go right up to the place you might be tempted.  Stop several steps back from ever being in a place you might be tempted.  Practical examples are not meeting with women alone, or in intimate settings, if you are married not talking with women on the internet, placing filters on your computer, and never traveling alone with women. (Gen 4:7, Prov 7)
• Avoid emotional adultery. Having integrity in regards to physical adultery is a given. Harder is avoiding emotional adultery, a straying that seems more innocuous at first, but easily leads to the corporeal variety. If you find yourself sharing more of your thoughts and feelings with a female friend or co-worker than you do with your wife, it’s time to take a big step back and repent. (Ecc 4:9-12, Matt 19:4-6, Eph 5:22-33)
• End a relationship when you know it’s over. If you’re dating someone and have reached the point where you know you two don’t have a future together, don’t keep dragging her along because you’re afraid to end things. Break up with her like a man (in person, clear, and considerate). A Christ-following man should only date a girl he honestly feels he may marry (she must be a believer). (2 Cor 6:14-15)
• Treat women as daughters of God and sisters in Christ. Would you act the same way with her if her father was in the room with you?  Well, I assure you. . . He is!  If you don’t you will show her that you care more about pleasure and yourself than serving God.  She is looking to you to lead.  The Word commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church.  If you are single you must start living this way now. Chivalry need not be dead in the church.  As Rob Roy says, “Women are the heart of honor – and we cherish and protect it in them.” (Eph 5:25-29, 1 Tim 1:1-2)

Integrity with your Friendships

• Keep your promises. Always, always follow-through with the things you have said you will do. A man’s word is his bond. If you tell your friend that you’ll hang out with him, and then the girl you like invites you over–too bad. You already made other plans. If you commit to being at a church function or being in charge of something, follow through.  If you notice people asking you to promise or calling you to remind you of something, you have failed to gain their trust.  (Matt 5:36)
• Don’t talk smack about other people. Saying something behind someone’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face shows a distinct lack of integrity. No one will trust you then.  (Prov 11:13, 20:19, Jam 3:3-11)
• Be the vault. When friend trusts you with confidential information, lock those secrets away. Nothing erodes a friendship faster then a breach of trust in the secret department. (Prov 11:13)
• Speak up and be real about sin. Confront your Christian brothers with the sin in their lives.  Do it in a loving way and take them to the scripture.  This is not license to be religious and make up rules that aren’t in the bible.  If we don’t address sin, none of us will grow. (Matt 7:3-5, 1 Cor 5:9-13, Rom 14, Gal 6:1-2, Col 3:16, Ps 141:5)
• Seek to build “real” relationships.  A real relationship is not one without conflict, but rather one where conflict is resolved in a Godly manor.  Real men do not run from relationships when conflict comes up.  They face it and work to reconcile it by forgiveness and grace (like Jesus has for us).  Running from relationships is cowardly. (Matt 5:23-24, 18:15-20)

From the film ROB ROY:

Son: Father, will the McGregor’s ever be kings again?

ROB ROY: All men with honor are kings – but not all kings have honor.

SON: What is honor?

ROB ROY: Honor is…what no man can give ye, and no one can take away. Honor is a man’s gift to himself.

SON: Do women have it?

ROB ROY: Women are the heart of honor – and we cherish and protect it in them. You must never mistreat a woman, or malign a man. Or stand by and see another do so.

SON: How do you know if you have it?

ROB ROY: Never worry in the getting of it. It grows in ye and speaks to ye. All you need to do is listen.

Please comment on this idea below.  If you’d rather do something else we’re open to suggestions.  We also need a backup plan if the weather isn’t going to cooperate.  Ideas please!

If we decide to do the BBQ, we will definitely need people to volunteer to bring food items.  We an use the comment thread for that as well.

For those of you who may not know where Lundeen Park is, here is a map.

The first was designed by Jake and has The Refuge logo (header above) and has The Refuge scripture on the back (Psalms 46:1-3).  it also has the web page address.  See the pictures below.

FRONT

BACK

The second shirt is a long sleave shirt this verse on the front: “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart (Psalm 91:4)”.  It is not a custom made shirt for The Refuge group but it is really sharp and might sart conversations.

Both shirts will cost between $17-20 (depending on shipping costs).  If you would like to purchase one, please leave a comment on this post and tell us which shirt, what size, and how many.  We need to have this information by Monday so we can get the best price on the order.